Viability:This version of the game has a solid sense of closure. I enjoy the fact that the “reasoning" behind the main characters’ animosity towards the sister is an optional passage early in the game. It clarifies things, but is not absolutely necessary to role-play the situation. It is a simple system, with a linear structure, but nothing feels lacking or out of place.
Presentation:The styling is simple but effective. I still would have liked to see more rich content, either images and sound effects (as a matter of fact, original images was a requirement in the final assignment). The writing is evocative and feels earned, well-worn.
Theme:What makes this game enticing above everything is the specificity of the situation. The main character’s frame of mind feels genuine and relatable at the same time. By the end, I definitely got the sense that the relationship was the result of a life time of closeness. Still, I think the final confrontation could expand a bit more no the sister character, because she seems underdeveloped compared to the main character. In all, really strong theme.
Engagement:The story is engaging thanks to the increased emotional stakes. It may only give players a few playthroughs, but the experience is rich despite the brevity. Solid work!
This is interesting! I liked the additional detail links, though I think it might have been easier if the additional information popped up somewhere in the passage - I was worried I'd been taken away from my choice when I clicked on the first one. Other than that though, it's a simple and solid story and the scene with the elephant really sticks out to me. I'll often hand my younger sister a stuffed animal to hold when she's sad, so that detail really resonated. Really great job!
Love this story and the subtle way the visuals play into it. At first I was frustrated with how the additional detail links blended into the passage, but I think it speaks to the story you want to tell and how, if you're not paying attention, you'll miss it. I hit a dead end once after the green "time to enjoy your party" end link after playfully fighting with your sister and attempting to play for the best ending. You did a great job making me feel guilty in the neutral ending, additionally! The middle, neutral route made me feel very uncomfortable (in a good way) that I think the red ending didn't get me. Great work!
Viability: In broad terms, the game is viable. I was never confused with the options given, and I was able to role play my stance towards this energetic (or annoying) sister character. It is unfortunate that we really don't get all the way to that grand party at the end. I think that would have been a great setting give players even more meaningful choices. Likewise, there are some passages that lead to dead-ends, which diminishes player choice. Simply speaking, the basic ingredients of viability are here, but the game needs to be "finished" to really pay off mechanically, in my opinion.
Presentation: The writing does a good job establishing the emotional stakes of the story, and the styling is promising even in this minimal (unfinished?) state. Obviously, what this game needs is some imagery! There are many choices: from drawing the characters, backgrounds, or simply adding abstract backgrounds that further emphasize the emotional stakes. I believe that presentation is one of the biggest opportunities for improvement.
Theme: This is the strongest aspect of your game, and the most promising, if you decide to continue with the story. The relationship between the two characters feel well-worn, and the options you gave us allow us to role-play, as I said earlier. What makes the theme strong, above all, is the possibility of revisiting that past memory of growing up with the sister. To have a back story complicate the choices in the middle of the plot is inspiring! As I said in viability, however, I feel that the central moral questions in the story are not resolved by the end of experience. We need to go to that party!
Engagement: Like many interactive narrative works, I enjoyed exploring the multiple choices. It is unfortunate that we have dead ends and an incomplete plot at this stage. This story is very close to deliver something very arresting. Consider finish it in your spare time, or for your final project.
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Viability: This version of the game has a solid sense of closure. I enjoy the fact that the “reasoning" behind the main characters’ animosity towards the sister is an optional passage early in the game. It clarifies things, but is not absolutely necessary to role-play the situation. It is a simple system, with a linear structure, but nothing feels lacking or out of place.
Presentation: The styling is simple but effective. I still would have liked to see more rich content, either images and sound effects (as a matter of fact, original images was a requirement in the final assignment). The writing is evocative and feels earned, well-worn.
Theme: What makes this game enticing above everything is the specificity of the situation. The main character’s frame of mind feels genuine and relatable at the same time. By the end, I definitely got the sense that the relationship was the result of a life time of closeness. Still, I think the final confrontation could expand a bit more no the sister character, because she seems underdeveloped compared to the main character. In all, really strong theme.
Engagement: The story is engaging thanks to the increased emotional stakes. It may only give players a few playthroughs, but the experience is rich despite the brevity. Solid work!
You really captured talking to your siblings! I would love a play again option though
This was a genuine and interesting story that was VERY well written. I like the text color changes.
This is interesting! I liked the additional detail links, though I think it might have been easier if the additional information popped up somewhere in the passage - I was worried I'd been taken away from my choice when I clicked on the first one. Other than that though, it's a simple and solid story and the scene with the elephant really sticks out to me. I'll often hand my younger sister a stuffed animal to hold when she's sad, so that detail really resonated. Really great job!
Love this story and the subtle way the visuals play into it. At first I was frustrated with how the additional detail links blended into the passage, but I think it speaks to the story you want to tell and how, if you're not paying attention, you'll miss it. I hit a dead end once after the green "time to enjoy your party" end link after playfully fighting with your sister and attempting to play for the best ending. You did a great job making me feel guilty in the neutral ending, additionally! The middle, neutral route made me feel very uncomfortable (in a good way) that I think the red ending didn't get me. Great work!
Viability: In broad terms, the game is viable. I was never confused with the options given, and I was able to role play my stance towards this energetic (or annoying) sister character. It is unfortunate that we really don't get all the way to that grand party at the end. I think that would have been a great setting give players even more meaningful choices. Likewise, there are some passages that lead to dead-ends, which diminishes player choice. Simply speaking, the basic ingredients of viability are here, but the game needs to be "finished" to really pay off mechanically, in my opinion.
Presentation: The writing does a good job establishing the emotional stakes of the story, and the styling is promising even in this minimal (unfinished?) state. Obviously, what this game needs is some imagery! There are many choices: from drawing the characters, backgrounds, or simply adding abstract backgrounds that further emphasize the emotional stakes. I believe that presentation is one of the biggest opportunities for improvement.
Theme: This is the strongest aspect of your game, and the most promising, if you decide to continue with the story. The relationship between the two characters feel well-worn, and the options you gave us allow us to role-play, as I said earlier. What makes the theme strong, above all, is the possibility of revisiting that past memory of growing up with the sister. To have a back story complicate the choices in the middle of the plot is inspiring! As I said in viability, however, I feel that the central moral questions in the story are not resolved by the end of experience. We need to go to that party!
Engagement: Like many interactive narrative works, I enjoyed exploring the multiple choices. It is unfortunate that we have dead ends and an incomplete plot at this stage. This story is very close to deliver something very arresting. Consider finish it in your spare time, or for your final project.